The Art of Belonging: From External Success to Deep Anchor Within

The longing to connect deeply with others acknowledges the need for common ground. The courage to deeply connect with self highlights the intricacies of one’s unique ability. 

It is the common push-pull rubber band effect - the duality of life. And a little voice makes you wonder, “Do I even fit in?”

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Until, one moment a realisation occurs.. You came into this earth alone and you’ll walk away alone. All that really matters is how you belong to yourself. You ask, what does that even mean?

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Belonging is about more than just fitting in - it’s about being accepted for who you are and valuing yourself. Fitting in requires you to become something other than who you truly are. It demands adaptation to others’ expectations. Belonging asks you to become more fully yourself - it’s about being anchored.

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If you are accustomed to achievement, it’s easy to master the external game: capital, influence, performance.

But the soul's evolution - begins when you stop outsourcing your worth. Before you can authentically belong anywhere, you must belong to yourself. When you unpack this further, belonging starts by understanding your values and living in action aligned with that. It involves breaking down and letting go of the way of being that is not your true self. It involves detaching from the ego to meet the needs from external validation. When you embrace courage to see yourself clearly, you start to refine your rough edges, and hold yourself with the kind of reverence you often seek from others.

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When you tap into the essence of belonging, you feel a deep anchor to self - a place that feels peaceful - a place that feels whole and fulfilled. When you accept all parts of you and live from a place of becoming the best version of you, not for anyone else but for your soul’s evolution, you start connecting to yourself. The deeper you connect with yourself, you start living your purpose with precession - this kind of purpose unfolds over time, revealing itself as you stay true to your inner rhythm.

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From that place, you no longer chase purpose - you embody it. Purpose, like mastery, reveals itself through precession and presence.

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True belonging is about being deeply rooted in your own truth - so rooted that whether others approve or not becomes secondary to your inner alignment.

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This inner alchemy of belonging mirrors ancient wisdom - particularly in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM); the concept of belonging finds deep resonance in the Metal element, one of the Five Elements (Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water). The Metal element is often associated with value, order, discipline, and self-respect.

It’s the energy of refinement - cutting away what’s inessential so what remains is pure, intentional, and worthy. This is crucial to how you relate to yourself, others and finding your place in the world. Metal is also known as the “discernment muscle” - allowing you to separate signal from noise, truth from illusion.

If you’re feeling disconnected or struggling with belonging, you might explore ways to nourish your Metal energy:

• Breathe deeply - Connect with your breath daily — it’s your first and most intimate link to life.
• Reflect and journal - Ask yourself: What do I value? What am I holding onto that I no longer need (physically and emotionally)?
• Practice letting go -  Declutter your space, allow yourself to grieve, or forgive something (or someone).
• Create rituals - Metal resonates with ceremony and honouring what is sacred. Simple daily rituals can ground you in meaning.
• Connect into your body - Tap into the places, people and events that draw you in, and begin with wonder and curiosity.

The more you feel like you belong to yourself, the better you are able to discern and not seek “approval” from others to fit it, which in turn helps to build a positive self-image. The more you belong to yourself, the less you are likely to engage in behaviours that may provide short term dopamine hits and instead cultivate healthier habits and a more fulfilled version of you. 

Honour the timing and cycles of life - and trust that your sense of belonging and purpose are not static goals, but living, breathing processes - evolving as you do.

When you live this way - grounded, aware, and attuned - You don’t just belong, You shine in your authentic presence. 

Nourishing your metal energy will bring:

• Clarity in vision
• Integrity in execution
• Elegance in restraint
• Respect for your time, energy, and essence

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